The Grapest Hits of Moldova

Matt Ellis • September 9, 2025

 Cabernet, Confessions and Chaos

Moldova’s Booziest Secret

Let’s face it. When most people hear “Moldova,” they nod politely, pretend to know where it is and then quietly Google it in the toilet later. Yes, it’s a real country. You can tell because it has stamps and Eurovision entries.


But what Moldova does have - in barrels and old bathtubs in villagers’ garages — is wine. Glorious, golden and ruby-red rivers of wine. And guiding unsuspecting visitors into this fermented wonderland is none other than Tipple Tours, Moldova’s premier service for anyone who hears ‘responsible drinking’ and thinks, ‘That’s as real as a unicorn on a unicycle.'


So buckle up, hydrate responsibly and prepare to discover why a Tipple Tour isn’t just a holiday. It’s a spiritual awakening…followed by lots of new best friends and at least one questionable dance video on your phone.


Step One: Accept That Moldova Loves Wine More Than You Love Oxygen

Moldova isn’t just a wine country. It’s the wine country. Archaeologists have found wine vessels here dating back to 3000 BC. That’s right: while your ancestors were still figuring out how to stop freezing to death in caves, Moldovans were already asking the important questions:



Today, Moldova is home to the largest underground wine cellar on Earth:Mileștii Mici, which has over 200 kilometres of tunnels stuffed with wine bottles. Your Tipple Tours guide may casually mention that the Guinness World Records people had to invent new categories just to keep up with Moldovan cellars.


And yes, you get to drink inside them. You also get lost inside them which is fine, as one of Tipple Tours’ mottos is: “If you can’t find the exit, there’s always more wine.” The cellars are so big they have actualstreet names and traffic lightsunderground. Imagine Paris, but instead of baguettes and existential dread, every street corner has a vintage Cabernet Sauvignon.


Step Two: Embrace the Tipple Tours Philosophy

Tipple Tours isn’t about stiff wine lectures where you nod while someone drones about “hints of gooseberry” that you absolutely cannot taste. No, Tipple Tours is about:



It’s like a wine TED Talk — if TED stood forTotally Enjoyable Drinking. But there’s also a deeper philosophy:wine is identity here.For Moldovans, a bottle isn’t just fermented grape juice. It’s history, hospitality and sometimes a replacement currency when you don’t have small change.


Step Three: Expect Shenanigans

The beauty of Moldova is that nothing goes quite according to plan. On a Tipple Tour, your itinerary might say:

10:00 AM — Visit medieval fortress
What actually happens: fortress guard insists you drink his cousin’s homemade cognac before entering.

12:30 PM — Wine tasting at family-run vineyard
What actually happens: the family insists you stay for lunch, then another round, then a wedding rehearsal. Suddenly you’re dancing with strangers in a barn.

3:00 PM — Scenic walk in the countryside
What actually happens: scenic walk interrupted by a babushka who waves you down and demands you taste her wine. It may come out of a recycled Fanta bottle but, wow, it’s delicious.

7:00 PM — Relax at hotel
What actually happens: hotel owner drags you into his cellar “just to see,” which turns into a 14-bottle blind tasting.


Tipple Tours thrives in this chaos. Your guide’s job is basically 50% keeping you upright, 30% making sure you don’t wander off into a sunflower field and 20% politely declining six offers of homemade spirits before lunch.


Step Four: The Stages of a Tipple Tourist

Every guest on a Tipple Tour goes through the samefive stages of Moldova Wine Enlightenment:


  1. Skeptical: “How good can Moldovan wine really be? I’ve never even seen it in my local supermarket.”
  2. Intrigued: “Okay, that Fetească Neagră is actually amazing. And cheap. Suspiciously cheap.”
  3. Converted: “Why does no one know about this? Moldova is the Beyoncé of Wines and the world is asleep!”
  4. Tipsy Philosopher: “Wine…is not drink. Wine…is life. Moldova…is universe.”
  5. Souvenir Hoarder: You buy so many bottles at the airport duty-free that your suitcase squeaks when it rolls.


Tipple Tours staff have seen it all: honeymooners getting into arguments about whose in-laws deserve more wine gifts, solo travellers who “find themselves” (usually under the tasting table) and corporate groups that accidentally invent new drinking games involving corks and national anthems.


Step Five: Revel in the Quirks

Moldova isn’t polished. It isn’t glossy. And that’s exactly why Tipple Tours works. Where else will you find:


And then there’s Moldovan hospitality. It’s not optional. Refuse a glass of wine in Moldova and someone will look at you like you just confessed to kicking puppies for fun. Accept it, though and suddenly you’re family — which usually means more wine.


Step Six: Realize You’re in on the Secret

The world hasn’t caught on yet. Moldova’s wine is award-winning but because the marketing budget is roughly equivalent to a bag of sunflower seeds, bottles rarely make it outside Eastern Europe.

That means being on a Tipple Tour feels like joining a secret society. You’re not just another tourist in Tuscany or Bordeaux. You’re in the know. You’ve discovered the password, whispered between sips of Rară Neagră: Moldova is magic.


And when you go home, you get to casually drop lines like, “Oh, this Merlot? Not bad. Of course, when I was in Moldova last month…” and watch as people blink at you like you just said you spent the summer in Narnia.


Extended Traveller Archetypes: Which One Are You?

Tipple Tours guests usually fall into one of these categories:


  1. The Enthusiast: Wears a wine t-shirt. Carries tasting notebook. Pretends to spit into the bucket at first but abandons that quickly.
  2. The Oblivious Friend: Only came because someone else booked the trip. Shocked to discover Moldova is not, in fact, a city in Russia.
  3. The Instagrammer: Spends 45 minutes trying to balance a glass of rosé against a rustic wooden fence for the perfect shot. Drinks warm wine afterwards.
  4. The Historian: Knows obscure facts about Soviet collectivized vineyards. Occasionally cornered by guides who fact-check them with alarming precision.
  5. The Lightweight: Asleep in the minibus by 2 p.m. but somehow rallies for dinner toasts.
  6. The Daredevil: Will drink anything poured into any container. Once mistook a jar of pickle brine for white wine and didn’t notice.


Step Seven: Book the Damn Tour

Listen, you can read all the TripAdvisor reviews you want. You can compare hotels. You can tell yourself you’ll “just buy a Moldovan wine at home.” You won’t. Your local wine store has never heard of it and the guy behind the counter will look at you like you asked for unicorn milk. Or you can do the sensible thing: hop on a Tipple Tour, surrender yourself to Moldova’s grape gods and have the kind of holiday story that makes your colleagues stare at you with envy.

Because life is short. Wine is eternal. And Tipple Tours is waiting.


Final Sip

A Tipple Tour isn’t just about wine. It’s about adventure. It’s about saying yes to babushkas, underground labyrinths and 11 a.m. toasts that may or may not involve poetry about tractors.

Most of all, it’s about realizing that Moldova — tiny, quirky, grape-obsessed Moldova — might just give you the best holiday of your life.


So, bottoms up. Or as they say in Moldova: Noroc! Book your next tour here.

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